This Girl's Life

If you've ever met Charlie before, you know that he can be sweet and snuggly and funny. But he can also be very FEISTY. And by feisty I mean stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, forget about it. It's not getting done.


Once he had a tantrum and threw his eggs on the floor. I asked him to throw his eggs in the trash, but he wouldn't. So then I said that I would sit there with him until he decided to do it. (I can be just as stubborn.) We ended up sitting in the kitchen for an hour and fifteen minutes. (Luckily I had a good book.) But Charlie just layed on the floor and sang songs until he realized I wasn't paying attention anymore and slipped the eggs into the trash.


See what I mean? Stubborn.


The past few days I've been feeling at a loss. There are certain things that I need him to do (like being gentle with Dylan and looking both ways before he crosses the street.) But when I tell him, "If you're not gentle with Dylan again, I'll put you in a time out" within a matter of seconds, he'll do it again. Then I have to carry a crying four year old to time out and feel frustrated and guilty at the same time.


So I've started reading how to win friends and influence people. I know, shocking that I've never read it before. And here are some thoughts that I've just come across that I hope will help me be a better parent (and person for that matter).


"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men."


And then Dale Carnegie talks about Charles Schwab's leadership style.


Schwab says, "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.


"In my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people in various parts of the world, I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism."


I think I'm going to try it out. Wish me luck.