(This picture has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was cute.)
For the past few weeks, I wake up every single morning with a headache so bad that I think my head is going to rip in two. My stomach feels like it has a pit in it at ALL times, and I even get waves of nausea. I've been popping Tylenol like it's chocolate.
I have no doubt that I am feeling so crappy because of stress. I have been feeling SO overwhelmed by our situation right now that sometimes it seems like I can't even see straight. I try not to let my frustration out on the kids, but lets be honest, it seeps out all over the place.
I think the hardest thing for me is how many times I've gotten my hopes up only to realize that nothing is changing. Its like I've been holding my breath waiting for something to happen for months, and finally my body is realizing that it needs oxygen and is shutting down.
I've been thinking, what am I doing wrong? Am I not praying with enough faith? Am I asking for the wrong things? Is my situation something that God's even concerned about?
So Lisa gave me this book, The Other Side of Heaven to read. (not the best writing, but a great story and great advice) There was one part in it that got me thinking:
"So often in life we think that because we have done things in a certain way, certain results should follow. But life is like the ocean. Sometimes we get caught in squalls and storms and things don't go the way we think they should, even when we think we have done right. But God can find us in the eye of a storm and give us courage to swim in rough water. We learn lessons from storms that we cannot learn from calm seas."
And it's helping me to put things into perspective....
11 comments:
sorry things are so stressful, josie. hang in there!
that is my FAVORITE part of the whole book. it has often brought light into some dark times for me as well.
we continue to pray for you. hang in there. remember, "it came to pass" not "it came to stay."
loves!
love you jos.
all i know (and i really know so little) is that times like these in my life have been followed by times of enormous blessings. but it most definitely took the bad to truly cherish and reverence the good stuff.
(also, i always thought, "wow! that doesn't seem so bad now" after the trials had passed. funny how perspective works, eh? but it sure doesn't make it any easier in the moment.)
(also-also, mountain dew and massage are cure-all for headaches, as well as doing what you're doing - having a great attitude.)
(also-also-also, i'm asking my dad right now if he knows of any job openings.)
(also-also-also-also ... i just did that because you were the queen of dragging something out until it was so past funny that it was funny again.)
I'm glad you're enjoying the book. I have to say that I would never know that you were SOO stressed because you're always so happy and put on a great front. Just remember that Maddie and William have you in their prayers everyday! And so do Merrill and I. We love you!
You can still move in with us and be my nanny, rent free. I'll take you anytime! Mi casa es su casa.
Hi Josie,
I'm a friend of Holly Dart's and clicked on your blog one day out of curiosity (linked to her blog). Now I'm hooked! You are such a cute girl and your children are precious. My dad is a lawyer, so I'm wondering what kind of job your husband is looking for? My dad is in corporate mortgage law out in NC. He used to work for GE, but his branch became its own company called Genworth. If this sounds at all like something your hubby would enjoy, I'd be happy to ask my dad if they're interviewing. You can either reply to your own blog, or on mine. Best wishes!
I just called and put your names on the temple prayer roll. I'm sure it's already there but once more can only help right? I am praying for you too. I am also curious what type of Law Justin is looking for so that I can keep my eyes open.
I'm so sorry for the stress. That is awful.
I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I was telling my family last night at dinner about how Sister Favia used to wax her legs on the kitchen counter.. then after she would leave you would come behind her with a heavy coat of bleach cleaner! so funny.
I just love you and hope things work out REALLY really soon. Keep your faith.. you are not being punished. He will bless you.
HP
any time there is a sister favia reference makes for a great day!
thank you heather.
p.s. jos, i click on your blog several times a day just to get a little ocean fix. looks gorgeous!
Jake and I have had that feeling plenty of times! After the trial and total frustration will definitely come blessings. We had no freaking clue what we were doing (and why) in Kansas City before Jake got into HBS.
What kind of law does Justin do? My brother in law has his own practice in Laguna Niguel, dont get hopes up but I could see if he needs someone.
It's so hard. And it's hard to see the end in sight. But it does come with time and when you get through it you are stronger. Healthier. Happier. Even though you wouldn't have thought it.
Hang in there JOSIE!
LC
Good Luck, we are praying for you! You knew me during my time of stress (our whole poor stay in San Fran). I have heard that prayers are not answered in the form of Yes and No, but in the form of Yes and something better. My mom always tells me things are the most trying right before the blessings come...so be excited, something wonderful must be just around the corner.
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