This is how I feel

Justin always teases me that I start every "discussion" (code for argument) with, "Okay, this is how I feel." But now that I'm 36 weeks, I just wanted to write down what has been going on with me so that next time I'm pregnant, I'll be able to compare. Just be warned, this post will be totally boring for all of you, and is really just for me.

Here's the round up of what this pregnancy has been like:

6 weeks: Get hit with the nausea. Takes a few days for it to fully kick in.

7 weeks: I'm taking 8 mg of Zofran three times a day and barely able to get off the couch.

Some days are better than others. Bad days: throw up lots, stay on the couch all day while my kids watch tv and eat corn dogs. Good days: get dressed and put make up on, then sit on couch all day while my kids watch tv and eat corn dogs. Cry most nights over my frozen burritos that I never want to be pregnant again.

14 weeks: Worst of the nausea subsiding, but I'm still needing to take 24 mg of Zofran a day to keep me from throwing up my insides. I feel crappy, but if I'm around people, or outside, or shoving my face with corned beef, I'm able to get my mind off of it for a little bit.

22 weeks: Nausea's pretty much gone, but still taking 24 mg of Zofran

25 weeks: Decide to cut back on Zofran and move down to 16 mg, and some days even 8 mg. I feel great and sometimes even forget that I'm pregnant. I start going crazy with organizing and getting ready for the baby to come. I feel happy and so excited for her arrival.

30 weeks: Nausea starts to kick in again. I feel fatigued all the time and get up two to three times a night with leg cramps. Move the Zofran back up to 24 mg. I start to feel weepy and hormonal.

36 weeks: I get up to pee one or two times a night, and leg cramps once a night. The sight of food is disgusting. Making dinner is overwhelming and yucky, and even cereal grosses me out. I cry over everything, and feel sleepy most of the time.

Most of the time, I lay awake in bed at night thinking about how I feel like a beached whale every time I roll over, or what project needs to get done before the baby comes, or how much laundry I have to do, wondering what I can eat next to get rid of the nausea, or stressing about the possibility of post pardum depression.

But I had one night last week where I layed in bed thinking about how much I already love this baby even though we've never formally met. I thought about what she's going to look like. I thought about how excited the boys (well, really just Charlie) are to have be here, and dress her up and play with her. I thought about what she's going to smell like all bathed and snuggled up. But most of all, I had this unbelievable desire just to hold her.

I think about the physical and emotional roller coaster that I've been through to get her here, and I realized that night that I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Here's to one more month!